Post by Kelly Ann on Jan 10, 2017 0:33:08 GMT -5
My aunt (by marriage) is a Notorious B.I.T.C.H. She's snooty as fuck, likes to show off and make herself look so good while putting other people down. She looks down on my mom for living in a trailer and for marrying a trucker (my dad) and a construction worker (my stepdad.)
She's always been sort of weird around me, mostly giving me toys and clothes that my parents either couldn't afford or didn't want me to have as a kid in order to make herself look better than them, and growing up she always promised to take me on a huge shopping spree for "good designer clothes" but never did it. But for the most part, she left me out of her bitchfest.
I guess now that I'm an adult I'm fair game. On Christmas Eve we had our usual awkward family dinner at my cousin's house. And of course, Auntie Dearest asked the same questions. Do you have a job yet? No, not yet. When are you going to move to Canada? Not for a long while. Do you still talk to your dad? Every week. How is he doing? He hit the Mega Millions last week. He plans on moving to Colorado to start a pot farm. (Ok, I didn't say that, but I wanted to.) Then she hit me with a new one: How's your art going?
Woah, hold the fuck up. What? All the years that I mention that my only real passion in life is drawing and she never once mentioned it afterwards. So I say that it's going good. In a little bit of an artist's block but I'm writing more and I like that a lot. Then she hits me again with "Yeah, I read your blog. You're much better at drawing. I'd really keep up with that."
Um, ok? When did you look at any of my drawings? And when did you read my blog. I mean, I posted a link to it on FB but since when did you ever pay attention to what I post? You just use FB to post pictures of your boat and summer home.
So I go on to say that yes, I know I'm not the best and I started my blog as a sort of writing exercise. It's a "news blog" set in a fictional town in West Virginia. Then she goes on to tell me in detail everything she thinks is wrong with my writing. Listen, I'm OK with critique. I NEED critique as an artist to better myself. I NEED critique as a writer to better myself. But what she did went way beyond critique and just got nasty, all while complimenting my drawing skills. It left me feeling confused as fuck.
Fast forward to now. I don't know why, but what she said sort of crushed me and drained me of any and all passion I had for writing. I keep going over entries from that blog and finding that I fucking hate everything I wrote. Same for a few short stories I'm working on. I've been writing since I was 12. I know I'm not the best. I'm never going to be like Stephen King or Agatha Christie, but I've gone back and read some of the shit I wrote in 2010 and I know I've come a long way, but now I just feel... worthless. I used to laugh when people used the term "spiritual vampire" but now I'm convinced they exist and that she is one.
God, I just wish I could get my writing mojo back.
the dollpalace? that's nuts. i used to do the silents on there all the time! ;-;